Comedy roasts can often be hit-or-miss. However, last night’s epic “Greatest Roast of All Time” certainly lived up to the hype.
Tom Brady being the subject of anything will always draw eyeballs. Netflix’s live-production of the “GOAT” getting brutally roasted by his friends and former teammates proved he’s a much better sport on the stage than he is the football field.
While Brady was infamous for refusing to shake hands after a few notable losses, he took everything thrown his way last night with a smile and laugh.
Actually, there was one instance where Brady seemed to take offense.
America’s “Roastmaster General,” Jeff Ross, apparently crossed a line – not with a joke having anything to do with Brady – but one aimed at New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft instead.
“Tom became a Patriot, moved up to New England, and on the first day of training camp, that scrawny rookie famously walked into the owner Robert Kraft’s office and said, I’m the greatest decision your organization has ever made … Would you like a massage???” Ross joked.
While the joke drew laughs from the audience, Brady appeared unimpressed and approached Ross in the middle of his set, telling him: “Don’t say that sh*t again.”
The joke, a reference to Kraft’s involvement in a 2019 solicitation case, struck a nerve with Brady and highlighted a sensitive topic for his old “big boss” who at one time considered him like a son.
Kraft, who was charged with soliciting prostitution at a Florida day spa in 2019, pled not guilty, and the charges were later dropped after his attorneys revealed hidden cameras installed at the spa.
Kraft issued a statement apologizing for the incident, expressing regret for his actions and the disappointment he caused.
“I am truly sorry,” Kraft said in a March 2019 statement about the case. “I know I have hurt and disappointed my family, my close friends, my co-workers, our fans and many others who rightfully hold me to a higher standard.
“Throughout my life, I have always tried to do the right thing. The last thing I would ever want to do is disrespect another human being.
“As I move forward, I hope to continue to use the platform with which I have been blessed to help others and to try to make a difference. I expect to be judged not by my words, but by my actions. And through those actions, I hope to regain your confidence and respect,” he concluded at the time.
Ross was far from the only person who roasted Brady.
Several comedians – including Kevin Hart, Nikki Glaser, and Bert Kreischer – took turns throwing shots at the future Hall of Famer (assuming he ever stays retired long enough.)
Brady’s former teammates – including Rob Gronkowski, Julian Edelman, Randy Moss and Drew Bledsoe – also joined in on the fun.
Edelman was one of the biggest stars of the night.
He also took a semi-shot at Kraft: “I think the next time I see you all will be at Kraft’s funeral.”
Kraft fired back when he took the stage, saying: “Julien, I’m not inviting you to my funeral.”
Even more humorous was when Edelman spoke about former Patriots coach Bill Belichick.
“Remember when (Belichick) used to yell at us, “Look assh*les, the f*cking kids down at Foxborough High can make that f*cking play … I’ve been waiting for this for so long: Look assh*le (Belichick), Foxborough High’s the only job offer you f*cking had!”
It’s interesting to see how protective Brady was of Kraft. It certainly seems like the two are trying to repair their relationship.
Brady was furious when the Patriots seemingly gave up on him which led to him signing with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. (And winning the Super Bowl in his very first season there.)
Belichick allegedly convinced Kraft at the time that Brady’s days as an elite quarterback in the league were officially over … Kraft sided with a Belichick – a decision he very much regrets.
While Brady never had anywhere near the level of animosity for Kraft that he did for Belichick, he certainly wasn’t happy with the way things ended in New England.
Having said that, he knows it best for his legacy to be on good terms with his old Patriots family.
Somewhat surprisingly, the suddenly-personable Belichick happily made an appearance at the roast and gladly took a shot at the recent Apple documentary – “The Dynasty” – which painted Belichick in a very bad light.
“I’m so honored to be here for the roast of Tom Brady on Netflix, not to be confused with the roast of Bill Belichick on the 10-part Apple doc,” Belichick joked.
Despite publicly denying it, Kraft reportedly had a great deal of influence over the documentary and purposely had Belichick portrayed as “the bad guy.”
The bottom line is Brady and Kraft are well on their way towards re-forming a close relationship. But Belichick and Kraft will most likely never be on good terms.
Having said that, the two played nice last night…
Again, Brady was a great sport and took (almost) everything in stride.
Ruthless jokes were made about his relationships with both Bridget Moynahan and Gisele Bundchen as well as the scandals he allegedly played a part in during his career.
Comedian Nikki Glaser put on quite a show. One of her best lines had to do with Brady’s 2006 breakup with Moynahan who was pregnant at the time.
“Tom, you’re the best to ever play for too long, you retired then came back then retired, I get it … It’s hard to walk away from something that isn’t your pregnant girlfriend,” Glaser brutally said.
“To be fair, he didn’t know … He just thought she was getting fat,” she added.
Notably, Kim Kardashian made an appearance and addressed the rumors that she once dated Brady.
“I know there were some rumors of Tom and I dating, and I’d never say if we did or not, I’d just release the tape,” she said, poking fun at her leaked sex tape with Ray J.
“But I do know it would never work out,” Kardashian continued. “An ex-athlete, high cheek bones, silky hair… you remind me too much of my stepdad now. Part of me thinks you’d want to undress me just to try on my clothes.”
Brady didn’t waste the opportunity to fire a shot of his own at Kardashian – and it proved to be one of the highlights of the night…
“I know Kim was terrified to be here tonight…not because of this but because her kids are at home with their dad,” Brady said, referring to Kanye West.
What a night it was … Unlike many events these days, the epic roast of Brady certainly lived up to the hype.
What are your thoughts on the roast?
What was your favorite joke?
How about Brady seemingly taking offense to the Kraft joke? … Do you think he was kidding, or do you think he was genuinely upset???